Maddie Feaunati should have been on top of the world. A whirlwind rugby journey across two nations and two hemispheres had reached an early culmination when, at the age of 23, the back rower and the rest of her Red Roses teammates lifted the World Cup last September. Her rise had been as rapid as it had been remarkable – born in Leeds but raised in New Zealand, Feaunati had only taken up the sport seriously during the Covid pandemic and only committed to England at the start of 2024. Here, it seemed, was a youngster with rich rugby heritage and the confidence required to relish all that lay in front of her and lead a new era.
But something wasn’t right. “After the World Cup, I’m happy to say I got into therapy because I was so confused,” Feaunati explains, opening up a year later having finally – she thinks – processed the maelstrom of complex emotions. A comedown from the tournament after returning to Exeter was perhaps to be expected, but Feaunati did not necessarily feel sad or sorry. Just…well, confused. “What have I not dealt with?” She wondered, before deciding to do something about it.
“It was the first time that I had sat down and been like, ‘I think I need help’. I’m not a sad person, I love life right now, but I was thinking I couldn’t regulate where my emotions were and what the next focus was. I was overwhelmed.
“I loved my therapist. Sometimes you forget that sport isn’t your whole life. Maybe there were a few things in my personal life that I hadn’t quite dealt with. But I think I understand myself and who I am a whole lot more now. When I’m not on that scale and I’m losing myself a little bit, I know what to go back to.
“I don’t know how encouraged that was when I was younger. It was always, ‘if you need help, go and get help’…but I didn’t need help. I just felt quite emotional. That’s ok. We are quite emotional sometimes. There’s just a lot going on. Big year, lots going on, but I learned how to deal with it mentally. I went to our psychologist and said, ‘I’m not sure what is wrong, but I know I’m not right’. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. It just cleared my mind 100 per cent.”
Perhaps, partly, there was an element of a hectic two years catching up with a figure catapulted to a strange prominence before she had even made her England debut. It is only in recent weeks, Feaunati admits, that real reflection has come on all that she achieved in her short time as an international.
The daughter of former Samoa No 8 Zak Feaunati, the 24-year-old was born on these shores during her father’s stint with Leeds Tykes, but spent most of her upbringing in New Zealand. It was there that she first made her rugby name, before Exeter came calling in 2023; England followed soon enough, luring Feaunati away from a possible future with the Black Ferns.
From a debut in March 2024, a player full of potential soon established herself as a regular, featuring in every game of the World Cup. During this year’s Six Nations, she stepped up again, with a raft of injuries and absentees in the forward pack making Feaunati something of a senior head. Amid it all, she’s been happy enough to just go with the flow.
“Now that I think about it, I just came in and got on with it. The environment is set up so well for you to perform that you just embrace it and take the opportunity. I was a little bit fearless and wanted it so badly.
“When I came in, I had to learn the ropes. I got found out in sessions early on. We train to a very, very high level, and I had to learn how that worked. I think people think we go into campaigns sometimes expecting to win them, but that’s not the mindset of the team at all. We know that we always have to earn the right and earn another week.”
It would be easy to assume that Feaunati is steeped in rugby heritage given her father’s background, but she actually came to the 15-a-side game late. Her background in netball and athletics has been a help, no doubt – but other elements of the sport have not come as naturally as it might first appear. “When I was at Otago Spirit in 2020, I didn’t want to hit anybody,” Feaunati laughs, a surprising admission from one of England’s best carriers. “I picked up 15s very late. It wasn’t until Covid that I decided to give it a go. And I was rubbish.
“What got me so far was just being a disciplined athlete that was so determined to learn the game. It takes time. Contact didn’t come easily to me at the start, because I’d played netball and athletics which are non-contact. Everyone said, ‘you should be a back’ – you need a skillset to do that! Now I want to get involved in every contact there is.”
Feaunati starts England’s WXV Global Series opener against Australia in Salford this weekend; another meeting with old friends and foes looms large when New Zealand come to Twickenham’s Allianz Stadium in a fortnight. Like plenty with a peripatetic upbringing, the 24-year-old refers to both places as home – and, while refusing to get ahead of herself, the idea of being part of the touring party on the first British and Irish Lions Women’s tour next year is one of obvious excitement.
“If I’m the right candidate for the role, amazing; if I fall short, then I’ll work on what I need to so I can hopefully go for the next one,” she says. “It’s going to be such a cool tour and such a good opportunity for whoever gets on to it. But I’ve got to earn the England shirt first and do what I need to do for the team.”
The Kiwi twang will probably never go for a loquacious and lively presence but there is no question about where her allegiances now lie. If the initial move ruffled a few feathers in both of the nations to which she refers as home, it is within Red Roses camp that Feaunati feels most content and able to express herself.
“I don’t think people understand how much England means to me, and how it has made me thrive as an athlete,” she explains. “That’s nothing against New Zealand, but I didn’t do that there. I didn’t give my best self to New Zealand.
“If [dad Zak] didn’t come over here, there would have been none of this for me. Life easily could have taken a different path. I could have played netball, been a Silver Fern. I do think about that. How cool is it that this became our home? My parents love the UK, all my sisters loved living here and all the opportunities we got here. We loved all of the schools, all of the communities, and would always talk about when we were going back to the UK. It’s a part of who we are now.”
