IT’S just ten days until English footie is back on our screens as the Premier League returns.
But with all games being behind closed doors, fans will have to make do with simulated crowd noises supplied by TV broadcasters.
To celebrate our nation’s great ability to devise a witty chant, we reveal some of footie’s best . . .
WALSALL supporters poked fun at an injured Forest Green Rovers player rolling around on the ground.
Forest Green is the Football League’s “greenest” ground and all food sold at the stadium is plant-based.
“That vegan b*****d, he’s eating our grass.”
AWAY FANS had a dig when Ipswich Town goalkeeper Dean Gerken was deemed at fault for a goal and chanted . . .
“Stayed in a burger. You should have stayed in a burger.”
MAN CITY’s crowd like to mock their own ground, which rarely sells out, with a chant to the Beautiful South’s Rotterdam.
“We’ve been to Rotterdam and Monaco,
“Napoli and Rome,
“We’ve still got blue empty seats,
“Empty seats at hooooome,
“Empty seat at home.”
CHELSEA supporters struggle to pronounce their Spanish captain Cesar Azpilicueta’s name.
“We’ll just call him Dave, We’ll just call him Daa-aave.
“Az-pili-cueta. We’ll just call him Dave.”
WEST HAM fans thought Newcastle’s Jonjo Shelvey is a double for Harry Potter’s nemesis Lord Voldermort.
“Harry Potter, he’s coming for you.”
France and Man City
AWAY FANS’ taunt to France and Man City defender Sylvain Distin after we reported he had a three-year fling with a blonde woman while claiming to be a milkman.
“He’s up at half four, he’s up at half four, oh Sylvain Distin he’s up at half four.”
EVERTON’S Richarlison de Andrade may never have heard of She’s Electric by Oasis until his fans invented this song about him.
“He’s Brazilian, He only cost £50million, And we think he’s f***ing brilliant . . . Richarlison.”
SCOTLAND’s Tartan Army mockingly threatened Italy fans when they played them away.
“Deep fry yer pizzas, We’re gonna deep fry yer pizzas.”
Forest Green Rovers
FOREST GREEN ROVERS taunted Dagenham goalkeeper Elliot Justham about his name.
“You’re just a s**t Tesco sandwich.”
DERBY COUNTY fans had a funny take on the Spurs song “He’s one of our own” about star striker Harry Kane after fielding a team made up largely of borrowed players.
“He’s one of our loans, he’s one of our loans . . .”
EVERTON fans about its former Russian star Diniyar Bilyaletdinov.
“He’s quick, he’s tame, we can’t pronounce his name, Russian lad, Russian lad!”